With great care did I collect all the pearls of my dreams; with great aspirations did I polish them bright. Each breath of his made me alive. His happiness was the reason I lived. For years did I live for one reason… and then I was gone.
His innocent smile still rejuvenates my heart. His tears… well, they do moisten my heart but somewhere deep inside they foster a sense of relief… A relief that he is still my own. Oh time! You are way too cruel. You walk at your own pace. Traitor! You did rush around when he was here… didn’t you? And now when he is gone, you don’t seem to move at all! There was a time when I was happy running around the whole day… remember? And now my life has been so stagnant that it is eating me up.
“What do you do all day? Once dad has gone off to work, you stick to the TV… don’t you?”
Yes, my dear, I did stick to the TV all day. And magically does the havoc that you create each morning does restore back to peace. And the food that you demand – claiming full right – each day after you come back; that food is magically prepared by angels, right? Stupid! And why should I explain this to you now? Now you know it better. How long does it take to wash the clothes dear?
But… you know… in a sense you are right for my current situation. There is no one who creates havoc in the house each day. The sofa covers remain unwrinkled for ages. The same food is eaten for days. There is no one to scream to for not having lunch in time. Basically there is nothing to do.
So you know what do I do? I remain in illusion each day. After your dad leaves for the day, I imagine that you too have left for school. I wait for you. Each day, the clock ticks 2:30, I go out to see you coming; chatting with your friends. The school bus leaves, many children come back laughing and giggling. But you are not among them. Then I calculate the number of days left for your arrival. Unfortunately they are not days… they are months… sometimes a whole year. Well at least they say it so. For me, it seems to be ages. All blames on the bloody time. It doesn’t move at all. And then I sit back and cry sometimes… well most of the times. And then rush up and down the house doing nothing. Like a ghost in a haunted house.
And then in the evening when your dad comes back from work, we ask each other if you called. Mostly you don’t. “He must have been busy”. Then we again talk about you. What else can we talk about? I don’t understand his work. Then we mutually decide on a time to call you, or wait for your call. “He might have just returned.” “He might be sleeping.” “Today is Monday, he has a busy schedule on Mondays.” “Don’t call now! He might be in the canteen.”
And then, suddenly the phone rings. And then for a few minutes do we live. We live our whole day in a few minutes. And thus does rejoice our hearts. We laugh at your jokes, smile at your memories, cry at your loss and scold you for you nuisances. And hence thoughts, and thoughts alone do remain and hence ends our day; probably an era of living without you.
I know you have gone to reach the stars, to fulfill your dreams. But what can one do when the reason to live has gone away? One goes along with him. So here am I living a dual identity. Well… single to be precise… The only identity I have is with you. When your wounds bleed, so does my heart. When you cry, another heart does ache.
February 5, 2014 at 8:48 am
beautiful
February 6, 2014 at 7:17 pm
Thanks 🙂
February 9, 2014 at 10:55 am
one of my relief in life is I and my younger sibling gave my mother the best (may be a bit more) we could, we did not had that luck with father, he passed away too early, so i really dont get these kids who move on, leaving their father/mother (if they are not real hellish) behind.
Now quite a nice percentage of parents/fathers/mothers are too adorable! but others are quite lovable or agreeable 🙂
February 9, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Great respect for you for taking care of your mother so well… Sad to hear about your father though…
Some people (like me) unfortunately have to leave their parents for studies… I really hope to take care of them later on… A hostel life generally creates a shell of ‘insensitivity’ sometimes. But often the shell is broken and then does the pain hurt more than ever…
February 17, 2014 at 8:21 pm
hostel and army life creates a wall around a person, which their spouses, children often fail to penetrate, so do parents!
i have lived away from my mother but with my elder sister, for four years.
February 5, 2014 at 11:03 am
Kya likhta hai be tu….. the pain of parents living without the son and vice versa is very emotiinally brought out in the aricle… I am not a mother neither am I living away from my parents… but yess.. my heart did ached… althogh ‘momentarily…’
February 6, 2014 at 7:21 pm
🙂 Koi nahin… Tu bhi ek din maa banegi… 😉 Tera bhi din aayega…
🙂 Thanks! Aur kuchh ni bolunga 🙂
February 7, 2014 at 9:16 am
bahut zaada waise hi bol gya hai tu…. and agar main ma bani bhi to mere bacche bahut gaaliyan denge mujhe… kyunki emotional harkate to main karungi nahi… 😛
February 7, 2014 at 3:10 pm
“Agar ma bani bhi…”
Nahin banne ke bhi plans hain kya 😛
Aur emotional harkaton ke baare mein to tu bol hi mat…
February 7, 2014 at 5:58 pm
I am not gonna reveal my plans to you…
February 8, 2014 at 4:24 pm
No probs… I know one day you will… 😛
February 5, 2014 at 2:12 pm
Very touching.
February 6, 2014 at 7:22 pm
Thanks!
February 6, 2014 at 1:30 am
Arindam. This is so emotional, man. I nearly cried at the end. I remember the time when I went for an Olympiad last year in January and didn’t call home for four days. And when I came back, it was like, I had lived my days, yet there was no joy, no ecstasy with it.
Aap awesome ho, man. 😀
February 6, 2014 at 7:25 pm
Thank you so much Valene… Thank you very much…
Do keep visiting… 🙂
February 6, 2014 at 7:40 pm
Lol Le lo badlay. Its V-e-l-a-n-e. Kay. :3
Anytime dude. Itna acha likhtay ho. :’)
February 6, 2014 at 7:52 pm
Ab apna itna achchha naam chhod ke itna ajeeb sa naam rakhiyega to aise spelling mistakes to honge hi na? 😛
Thanks again!
February 7, 2014 at 8:05 am
People did spelling mistakes with ‘Ghalia’ so I switched to ‘Velane’. Then again, ajeeb naam for an ajeeb naam -doesn’t sound much of a substitution. 😛
You’re welcome.
February 7, 2014 at 3:13 pm
Ghalia is not an ajeeb name… Hindi/Urdu bolne waali ka naam ‘Velane’ hona ajeeb hai…
So consider reverting back or re-substitution 🙂
February 7, 2014 at 4:31 pm
Haha I Know. xD But ages ago, Writers Cafe par ‘every one’ used to misspell it. Itni tapp charhti thi. :3
Sab ko pata toh hai waise bhi. Mein konsa naam chuppa ker bethi hun. 😛
February 7, 2014 at 5:20 pm
🙂
February 9, 2014 at 12:27 pm
One word:beautiful
February 9, 2014 at 6:13 pm
Kya baat hai… taang nahin kheechi is baar 😛
Waise two more words: Thank you
February 15, 2014 at 12:16 am
🙂
February 15, 2014 at 7:13 am
🙂 Welcome back… How are you sister?
February 17, 2014 at 4:59 am
Beautifully written. I am going to go call my parents now! 🙂
February 17, 2014 at 11:14 am
Thanks! 🙂
Ask them to give some blessings this way too… Exams ahead 🙂
February 19, 2014 at 4:02 pm
so you’re busy in exams? 😛 Best of luck!
February 19, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Haan… warna lekhak ki kalam thodi na rukti…. 😛 Thanks 🙂
How are you and how is the university? Mind telling the name?
February 19, 2014 at 6:49 pm
haha exactly. lekhak ki kalam aese rukni bhi nahi chahye. 😉
I’m good Alhamdulillah. Uni bhi perfect. Naam btany me kuch nahi jaega mera 😛 so Karachi University it is. When are your exams ending finally?
February 19, 2014 at 7:18 pm
Next Friday ko exams end… But abhi aaj kal mein ek poem likhunga shaayad… the temptation has become irresistable 😛
So… South Asia ke sabse bade shahar ke sabse bade universiity mein daakhila mubaarak ho… 🙂
February 19, 2014 at 7:37 pm
Lol shukriya:) Poetry aur dunya bhar ki philosophy exams ke between aur bhi tempting hojati hae. =p
February 20, 2014 at 5:01 pm
Very true 🙂
February 21, 2014 at 6:39 am
In that case, good luck! But it seems you have exams ALWAYS! 😉
March 4, 2014 at 4:20 pm
Hello bro:Great pieces of writing 🙂
March 4, 2014 at 7:09 pm
Thanks sis! 🙂
March 4, 2014 at 8:44 pm
You are most welcome.
Whats up??
June 22, 2014 at 9:33 pm
Its so beautiful and touching.. I loved it..
June 23, 2014 at 2:25 am
Thank you 🙂