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Fear

Since my last post…


Since my last post…

Half an year has passed by,
Millions of leaves have fallen dry
Thousands have fled their homes;
And are living under the blue sky.

Millions of eyes, brimming with tears
Millions of hearts throbbing in fears
Thousands of bullets and hundreds of bombs
Scarring humanity for the coming years

Yet…

Millions of flowers have welcomed the springs
And colourful butterflies have fluttered their wings
And gleefully have giggled the millions of kids
Under the trees, over the swings

Cutting their way against the breeze
Still sing the birds on the trees
Still does the pensive turtle
Waddle along the violent seas

Are they blind to the streams of blood?
Or oblivious to the waves of flood?
Or do they simply turn a deaf ear
To the cries of a child covered in mud?

Probably they don’t even care
For not long can darkness stare
After a time, as has always been
It will be vanished, into thin air.

The Silent Spectator


Living in a sea of dust is an experience in itself. An experience which does not befriend many. And oddly enough the experience is not one that I hate. Living within 50 meters of three JCB’s (showing their extraordinary acrobatic skills), two construction cranes and hundreds of striking hammers is actually thrilling – to say the least. After all, who won’t inhale a ‘bit’ of dust for all the excitement?

Anyways… the fact of the matter is that at the moment, the sea of dust has calmed down. The JCB’s are resting cuddled up in the blanket of this dark night, and the hundred pairs of hands are in their dreamland, carving aspirations of their uncertain future. And I am staring at the top right corner of my laptop which shows 12:15 AM. So all of you those who are, or have been in hostels, a hearty good evening to them. The same goes for all the students in their late teens, inseperable lovers and other nocturnal beings. To the others, sorry for disturbing your midnight sleep.

And what am I actually doing in this sleepy world? Well, one of the most favorite tasks of mine – doing nothing. Really… absolutely nothing. And believe me, this is one of the busiest things in this world. To think nothing at all. Just observe. Be a silent spectator to this silent world which ironically is bubbling with chaos and commotion. Don’t believe me? Okay then…

Think of the security guard strolling around in the hostel. Eyes begging for sleep; mind cursing a moron whose constant stare doesn’t let his eyelids come closer. But is he desperate for a sleep? Nah… Proof? A boy does up to him and asks, “Ki dada? Kemon cholchhe?” (What’s up bro?) and there starts the conversation. Five minutes later, Indian politics becomes the hot topic on the table which a moment ago rested a dozing soul. That person is not really sleepy. He is starving. Starving for company… Battling against boredom in this chilly night.

Nights are subtle, shrewd, mysterious, lonely things. In its embrace lies only silence. But silence has a language of its own. It speaks. It speaks through fear – in the eyes of a girl trapped on a lonely road, trying to get back home. It speaks through tears – in the memory of a long lost love. It speaks through thoughts – in the focused vision of the visionary. It speaks through dreams – to achieve the un-achieved. It speaks through joy – of the ecstatic achievements of the day. It speaks through hopes – of a brighter tomorrow which we may just witness.

A night has a long silent story to tell. And you too can listen to it. All you have to do is be be silent and listen… All you have to be is the silent spectator.

Inspired by The Outsiders

निज-साक्षात्कार | Self- Introspection


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A journey of self-realization… as a extension of मैं कौन हूँ?

English translation follows Hindi…

 

मंद-मंद बहता पवन हूँ
मंद-मंद सुगन्धित उपवन हूँ
मैं माटी की सौंधी खुश्बू हूँ
इस ब्रह्माण्ड का अलौकिक जादू हूँ

अंजाना सा एक स्पर्श हूँ मैं
हृदयांतर का अद्भुत हर्ष हूँ मैं
अदृश्य मूक श्रोता हूँ मैं
अनकहे शब्दों का वक्ता हूँ मैं

बारिश में छिपी अश्रुधार हूँ मैं
अधूरा अव्यक्त प्यार हूँ मैं
सूखे फूलों की महक हूँ मैं
कैद पक्षी की चहक हूँ मैं

नन्हे शिशु की मुस्कान हूँ मैं
स्वच्छंद पक्षी की उड़ान हूँ मैं
एक अथक-निरंतर प्रयास हूँ मैं
धावक की अंतिम श्वास हूँ मैं

मैं असीम अपरिमित अशेष उल्लास
मैं अनंत अचल सनातन आस
मदमस्त होकर नाचने वाला मैं पागलपन
निश्चिन्त निर्विघ्न निर्विकार बचपन

मैं कभी लघु तो कभी विराट
मैं कभी भिक्षुक तो कभी सम्राट
मैं हूँ कठोर, मैं हूँ कोमल
मैं ही श्वेत, मैं ही श्यामल

मैं वीरों की ख्याति हूँ
मैं अग्नि हूँ, मैं ज्वाला हूँ
मैं माता की ममता हूँ
मैं प्रेम प्रसंग निराला हूँ

मैं वह ललाट हूँ जिसपर सूरज ने स्वयं तिलक किया है
मैं वह कंठ हूँ जिसने स्वयं अमृत-सुधा पिया है
श्रावण की पावन वृष्टि का मैं एक जल-बिंदु हूँ
पर अवतरित हो धरती पर, मैं असीम एक सिंधु हूँ

मैं ही श्रुति, हैं ही स्मृति
मैं ही रचना, मैं ही कृति
मैं समष्टियों का वृहत समाहार
मैं ही श्रृष्टि, स्थिति और संहार

मैं उस निराकार का स्वरुप अपार
मैं नर से नारायण का साक्षात्कार
मेरा पिंड ब्रम्हांड का दर्पण
मेरा सर्वस्व प्रभु तुझको अर्पण

शून्य ही मेरी जननी है, शून्य ही मेरा परम ध्येय
शून्य से शून्य के इस पथ का मैं पथिक, मैं अज्ञेय

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Seamlessly flowing mild breeze

A subtly fragrant beautiful garden

I am the fragrance of the wet soil

I am the divine magic of this world

 

A seemingly unknown touch

A strange delight in heart’s core

An utterly silent spectator am I

An Orator of unsaid words am I

 

I am a tear hidden in rain

I am an incomplete, unexpressed love

I am the aroma of a flower withered away

I am the call of a bird trapped in a cage

 

The smile of a new-born

The flight of a free bird

The never-ending, unfailing trial I am

The very last breath of a sprinter I am

 

The unbounded, infinite, unending joy I am

The steady, unaltered, never-dying hope I am

I am the crazily dancing, uncaring madness

I am the carefree, limitless, unstoppable childhood

 

I am the small and the big

I am the beggar and the king

I am the stiff and the soft

I am the dark and the bright

 

I am the pride of the valliant

I am the fire of the flame

I am the love of the mother

I am the love of the love-story

 

I am the one blessed by the sun

I am the one who has drunk the divine wine

I am the tiny drop of the rain

I am the giant sea that does not refrain

 

I am the first scripture of the world

I am the creative and the creation

I am the collection of all collections

I am the creation, preservation and the end

 

I am the form of the formless

Conjunction of the man with the god

I am the mirror of the entire universe

And hence O lord! Everything mine is yours

 

Void is my creator, void is my goal

And in this journey from void to void, I am the traveller, the un-knowable…

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I tried to the best of my ability to translate, but admittedly the translation is not as polished as it should be… Any reader is welcome to give suggestions for improvement…

Fearless I write


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When emotions concealed, come out as tears
Captured is mind, silence resonates in ears
When lost is the strength, belief disappears
I throw out some words, and spit out my fears

When contentment is meager, too large is desire
When realities are too harsh, too ugly to admire
When hopes and dreams are shattered, words conspire
I scribble down my anger, to ignite a fire

When path is too tiring, and treacherous and long
When exhausted is body, too heavy to drag along
Then moments are critical, and demand you to be strong
It is when write, to sing a warrior’s song

When thrilled by success, my heart does prance
When enchanted is the mind, by its mighty expanse
When restless is soul; restless to advance
In those showers of joy, my pen too does dance

To spell out my agony, to celebrate delight
To embrace the darkness, to conjure the light
In moments of ecstasy, in moments of fright
Solely at heart’s call, fearless I write

That the powerful play goes on… and I… might just contribute a verse…

Cradle of Joys


Image

 

 

Patiently waiting for the next dawn

Sleeps the city with a dark blanket on

A blanket so large, A blanket so grand

Beneath which does the world stand

 

Structure-less, formless, and all too void

A scary silence that I wish to avoid

All I see is nothing but a house of fear

But it’s too lonely and I dare not go near

 

But then I stand and closely observe

Patiently and silently as I hold my nerve

And slowly does the beauty emerge

A song of ecstasy is carved out of the dirge

 

Beneath the blanket, the city does breathe

In a land of dreams and hopes underneath

In a land of peace is a music composed

In a land of knowledge are ideas imposed

 

And in the dark, the eyes do dream

Of a peaceful tomorrow; of self esteem

Of a future of hope, of a future so bright

Of a brighter dawn, beyond this night

 

A night is a cradle of ideas and dreams

Of painful memories; experiences extreme

A cradle of love intimate and profound

A cradle of joys, yet to be found

 

Inspired by a poem by Sarmishtha Basu

Special No More


There were times with glitter and glory

People with pride narrated your story

You were too good to do a wrong

Flamboyant your flight; a flawless song

What happened to eyes which never looked back

Adoring your past, you lost your track?

Forgotten like an old folklore

How does it feel to be special no more?

colourful birds wallpaper (2)

Clipped are the wings, sky seems too high

Song missed its beat, have you wondered why?

Why is your smile shadowed with fear?

Do you fear the goals which don’t seem too clear?

Solitude from which great thoughts once rose

Why is it the same which rinses this prose?

Where gone is the cheer, the elation, the adore?

Have they disappeared as you are special no more?

Fear


fear

 

Deep down beneath the heart

The root; the cause which fails to depart

The reason evident, yet not so clear

Mind occupied and blocked with fear

What would happen if the secrets get revealed

Respect lost and wounds never healed

Or how will life change if I fail

Will I be able to follow back my trail?

The fear of loss, the fear of pain

The fear of distrust, which I refrain

Fear en-captivates the bird which sings

Shatters its dreams and slashes its wings

Introspection is the key to conquer this terror

It acts as a large, shining and polished mirror

Place in your heart or yet very near

And make fear feel, the fear of fear

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