Through my brief journey with words, I have realised the immense power they posses. The journey through written words is a journey not only through words said; but through the entire stories that each word hides. Those words take you to a new world. A world where you loose the identity of you, and become the person whose words are being read. To share his sorrows and tears and pain; you share his smiles and joy and pride. A journey though ones work is a journey through oneself. Its an attempt to stand in his shoes and look at the world in a way that he does…
Presenting an outcome of one such experience as I become the writer whose blog I have been following since… well a long time. And writing a piece pretending to be her in my own way….
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Dear Diary
An year and counting… and the turmoil doesn’t seem to end. As I flip though your pages, I realise how long it has been. And in this long year and a half, how much has changed and yet remained the same. This city with which I had a love-hate relationship seems to attract and repel more strongly than ever. The desire to get out of the city has transformed into an unknown love in recent times. And now when time has come to say goodbye, the memories seem to cling to me even more. Memories of friends; memories of beaches; memories of giggles and laughter and smiles; memories of silence and tears and cries…
All these four years I thought I lived in this city. But now I seem to realise that somehow this city lives in me. And the day I leave this city forever; it seems the city within me too would depart. The city will leave with its local trains, the city will leave with its winter rains; the city will leave with its sea-shore breeze, the city will leave… silently… probably with ease. And so will the present become my past; and will stay in my heart till the memories last.
And you know what? As I leave this known, beloved past; I delve into the an unknown future. Changes are always like that I guess. But changes were never so hard… you know. May be it is a treasure of joys, but as of now, it seems uncertain. Fear… yes fear surrounds me as I jump across the trench. What if I fall?
But again… I can’t stay here. Agreed the city gave me friends, stature and identity; But how can I forget that this city… this city of past, snatched away me from myself. He, who was my soul mate, my love has been captured by the city to be a part of past. The more I stay in this sea of memories the deeper shall I drown, it is hence the time I jump off and leave the town…
Oh I hate you, you diary… I envy you so much. You weaken me… Who says you are a true friend? You are evil… Every time I flip through your pages, I find myself trapped in memories. Memories sweet and sour, experiences good and bad… And you know what the problem is? You don’t help. You just show the memories… And then what happens? The moments of pains and tears are re-lived; and the moments of joys and smiles are missed. How the hell does it help?
Thousands of words remain unsaid. Probably I shall share some other day. But I know dear diary, you know them already… After all you are the witness of my past. And each part of me is trapped within the aroma of your pages.
March 21, 2014 at 8:38 pm
Hello, hello Arindam!
I loved reading your post, esp. the very poetic first two paragraphs of your diary!
Departures are so painful, yet they mark new and happy beginnings. Goodbyes; so tough, so necessary. Future is so unknown, yet we hope and always make it.
The city within you will carry with it bits and pieces of your past, cherish them. Do not let them drive you, drive them.
Best wishes for your days ahead, I hope your diary stores in it the best of the best for all the rest. =)
March 21, 2014 at 8:47 pm
🙂 Thank you so very much Maria!
Goodbyes are really tough… Thank you for your advice…
Waise… this diary is an imaginative one… I don’t write diaries… The point is… this post is written from the perspective of one of my friends who is shifting cities and hence is in a bit of a fix… this post was to voice my friends situation as I understand it…
I really hope the best of the days ahead for my friend… 🙂
Thank you for your wishes… 🙂
March 26, 2014 at 9:26 am
I stopped writing diary when i realized that in wrong hands they can be quite destructive 🙂
I am glad that i picked up writing, it works the same for me.
March 29, 2014 at 9:27 pm
🙂 I am glad you picked up writing… else a talent would have gone undiscovered… 🙂
March 26, 2014 at 8:56 pm
Beautiful portrayal of feelings and emotions of the gal. Its not very easy to say goodbye, leave the place where u spent imp yrs of ur life, but life has to move on n it shud. So the journey of human life. Human life is like flowing river, it has to flow and keep moving, stagnant water is of no use, n so a stagnant life…
March 29, 2014 at 9:29 pm
True… One must move on… I am sure the girl will move on… very successfully 🙂
March 29, 2014 at 8:51 pm
Hey Arindam ! What a marvelously written post. Love your play with words. And the last two paragraphs were just….Uffff…Beautiful !
I have never moved from city to city but when we moved from the house I had lived in for 14 years of my life, it was really overwhelming, I didn’t realize it in the beginning but I would see the house even in my dreams. My every dream used to revolve around it vicinity where I spent walking and laughing. Whenever I would feel down I would close my eyes and just visit that place step by step, every corner every road.
Loved your post. Reminded me of older times 🙂
March 30, 2014 at 5:58 pm
Changes are mostly difficult sister… Be it changing cities or houses… changes always involve a lot of emotions… I am glad you could connect to the post…
And this reminds me… I have only one year left in the hostel… 😦
March 30, 2014 at 8:05 pm
So are you sad that there is still one more year of hostel left or are you sad that you are gonna have to leave it after one year? I got confused by the presence of sad face in the end 😛 😀
March 30, 2014 at 11:23 pm
I am sad as I would have to leave it after an year… Tension not… that time is still far away for you… 🙂
April 10, 2014 at 5:11 pm
Where?!
April 11, 2014 at 7:01 pm
Trapped… 😦 In exams…
Will try to come back soon…
Thanks asking… 🙂
April 11, 2014 at 7:02 pm
Oh okay. Good luck getting over with them. You’re missed. 🙂
April 11, 2014 at 7:04 pm
I know yaar 🙂
I miss you guys too…
Kaisin hain?
April 11, 2014 at 7:19 pm
Thek Alhamdulillah. You tell? Totally crammed up in physics? 😛
April 20, 2014 at 6:43 am
Sigh… You can see for yourself… 5th ke baad comeback maarunga 🙂
April 30, 2014 at 11:07 pm
Beautifully written. At first I was kinda worried as I didn’t quite understand where you were heading with this. But glad its not as bad as I was thinking. I read the comments that’s where I got the idea. Anyway keep it up. You really got a talent.
July 14, 2014 at 10:00 am
“…..Every time I flip through your pages, I find myself trapped in memories…. sweet and sour.. good and bad….”, this is so true, I have experienced it myself…. and then…. literally burnt my diary. It was a long time ago.